I'm depressed,for many reasons.Somethings aren't working for me,and i'm pretty much hurting people around me.So,what i have decided, for my own good and of others,is that i'm gonna shut myself to the world.This computer screen is possibly the only thing that's just as much able to brush away my anxieties,as i pretty much die here in this room.
I have been getting so fustrated with everything.Grades,School,life,myself,everything.
The more i reflect,the more i notice how much a bad and disgusting person i was,and am.I simply can't wash these things away because they haunt me.
I need a moment,no,some time to calm down.So try to put these things at least somewhere they won't hurt me and others.It's been getting in my way.In everything.My life just seems to have stopped.
My anxieties have literally exploded from nowhere.I'm literally starting to hate myself for upsetting others and me myself.I'm just so pissed off at the fact just a small thing was able to create such...pain in me.
I'm not even sure if i value life this much anymore.Because i've been reflecting deeply.Deeply about my actions.
I am doing this because i want it to go away by itself.I'm sure it will.Last times it did.
If it doesn't,i think we know what happens next.
Don't worry though,i suppose i will be fine.I might just end up literally giving up in many things,after all i've been hardly being able to keep up.
I did something like this before.This is called 'vent' if i'm right.But i promised myself i'd never do that again,after all this isn't a place for me to express MY emotions.Well from what i've thought myself.
But i really wanted to put this off my chest.
It's been like this for a few months now.Some times it's bigger,other smaller.Some times it's not even there.But now,it's always there.
And you know,it hurts.It's a pain,that i can't really feel,but do.And it hurts.Very much.
As much as i want it to be gone,i really need to think,and..rechoice.Think about what's making me so anxius.
This is why i'm shutting myself from the world.Because i need to reflect on all of this.I need to know what's literally turning my life into a hell.
Indeed,i know very well this is stupid,but it's what is needed to be done.I don't want to keep it there literally killing me inside as much as it is.
Anyways,that's enough of depressing bullcrap.This is my problem after all.I caused it.You guys now wait,'cause when i return i promise i'm gonna at least make something good out of this terrible art style and pretty much idea i've got.
-Thanks for reading this,and i hope to see you all soon.'Till some other time.